A Letter to Arwen, Love, the Fellowship
by The Hobbit Ivy
Summary: While resting in Lothlorien during the quest, Aragorn is trying to write a letter to Arwen, but the rest of the Fellowship keeps interrupting!
1. A Letter to Arwen, Love the Fellowship

**A/N: This ficlet is the result of a challenge between myself and my friend CSG4ME. Poor Aragorn is trying to write a letter to Arwen, but the rest of the Fellowship keeps intervening! Shh... let's see what happens! **

**A Letter to Arwen, Love, The Fellowship**

"Aww _shit_," moaned Aragorn as he spilled his fourth pot of ink that hour all over the ground.

"How on earth are you so clumsy?" berated Legolas, examining the ends of his hair for split ends. "Are you writing a letter or wasting your time?"

"Wasting my time, apparently," sighed Aragorn, "I just wanted to write a letter to Arwen to tell her about the quest so far… Tell her we're safe…"

"Safe?" interjected Boromir, "You call this bloody quest SAFE?" He gestured to his collection of bruises and cuts that hadn't yet healed. "This blasted wood is full of peril," he mumbled. He'd gotten into a bit of a spat with some of the guard earlier. His ego had taken the worst hit.

"If you call beautiful women and delicious food perilous, let me rescue you from the peril," chirped Pippin, entering the grove where the fellowship was resting.

"Nah, Pip, I won't let you. It's too perilous." Merry grinned, munching on a loaf of bread happily.

"Now Gondor," continued Boromir, totally ignoring everyone, "Gondor is a safe place. It is a city of glory, of glittering white stone, of dignity and grace…"

"Oh my _god, _Boromir. Shut up about Gondor already!" Legolas protested.

"Our road lies further East to Mordor, not south," said Frodo, eyes twitching.

"But… Gondor is, like, _next door_ to Mordor," Boromir whined.

"For the last time, we will not travel to Gondor! That's final!" Aragorn said hotly. "Now, back to the more important issue at hand. What should I write to Arwen?" he asked dreamily, staring at the paper and sucking on the end of his quill.

"You won't write anything if you keep spilling the inkpots," yawned Sam, who everyone had previously thought asleep. "And write something nice… about the food. Or the flowers."

"Don't mention my hair, it's atrocious," Legolas interjected.

"Tell her how little food there is on the road," Pippin complained through a mouthful of apple.

"She already knows that, Pippin," Aragorn said.

"Where's my hairbrush?" asked Legolas.

"Tell her how hot her grandmother is," grunted Gimli. Aragorn turned to stare at the dwarf with a look of horror on his face.

"But I can't say that!" he said.

"Will somebody _please _help me find my hairbrush?" demanded Legolas, "My hair is in a state of crisis!"

"It's here," said Gimli, chucking the brush at Legolas' face.

"OW!" complained Legolas loudly when the brush hit its mark. "GIMLI, that HURT!" Legolas rounded on Aragorn. "Tell her that Gimli is a _mean dwarf_!" he demanded of Aragorn.

"I won't say that!" Aragorn protested.

"Then I will!" Legolas said, snatching the quill and paper from Aragorn and fiercely starting to scribble.

"Oh, let me write something too!" Pippin said excitedly.

"And me!" chimed in Merry.

"I have to tell her how unfair you all are being," added Boromir.

_Later, in Rivendell…_

"What's that you have there?" asked Elrond, sinking to sit beside his daughter on a bench.

"The most bizarre letter I've ever received," replied Arwen.


	2. A Letter from Arwen, to the Fellowship

**A/N: Arwen, not realizing what she was doing, was silly enough to reply to the Fellowship's letter to her and a Lorien guard has just delivered it to Aragorn. Shh! Let's see how the Fellowship reacts!**

**A Letter from Arwen to the Fellowship**

"HEY GUYS, GUYS, GUYS!" Aragorn yelled, bolting through the forest toward their little grove. "GUYS, SHE REPLIED!" he called excitedly. He came tumbling to a stop once he'd tripped over a pair of unsuspecting napping hobbits.

"Ash on my tomatoes!" Pippen swore, starting awake. "Oh hullo Aragorn!"

"What's… going on?" said Merry, groggily.

"Were you two… _cuddling_?" said Legolas, scandalized, entering behind Aragorn.

"We weren't! And what's it to you?"

"I'm hungry!" interjected Pippin, ignoring the elf and springing up and heading to a mountain of food he had slowly been collecting. At every meal, he'd collect anything and everything he could stuff in his pockets. He chose an apple off the top of the heap.

"OOMPH," went a wayward hobbit, falling from above. Raucous laughter followed.

"I told you to hold on tighter!" grunted Gimli, who had somehow found his way up a tree.

The hobbit-turned-missile was Frodo, and he was turning his face up to stare pathetically at Gimli. "I thought you were going to show me the sunset," he said pitifully.

"It's _noon_," said Aragorn.

Frodo's big, blue puppy eyes swam with tears.

"Awwww," chorused the present members of the Fellowship.

"MR FRODO!" exclaimed Sam, bounding into their grove and darting to his side.

"Arwen sent a reply." Aragorn tried to get a word in, edgewise. Everyone ignored him.

"Oh, Mr Frodo!" Sam wailed. "You've been wounded!"

"No, Sam, I'm fine," Frodo assured him, shaking his head vigorously to rid his hair of leaves.

"You shan't have died in vain!"

"I think I'll make a full recovery," Frodo insisted.

"No, Mr Frodo! Lie there, I will come back for you!" Sam said, and then flew away to supposedly fetch the elf healers.

"I'll go after him…" Frodo said resignedly, once he'd stood and dusted himself off.

"Arwen…?" Aragorn tried again, waving the unfolded letter halfheartedly. This time, Legolas caught on.

"Ohmigod she knows about my hair!" Legolas moaned, snatching the letter from him.

"She doesn't! And that's mine!"

"She agrees with me about Gondor, doesn't she?" Boromir said excitedly from underneath his shield, where he'd taken to hiding from the Lórien guards, who wanted a rematch.

"No, she-!"

"I need a manicure," Legolas whined, staring at his cuticles. "My hair issues are, like, _so _last week."

"You can't get a manicure here, prissy pants!" Gimli said, shuffling over. It had taken him a while to get out of the tree.

"Could I have my letter back?" Aragorn asked timidly.

"No, I want to see what she said," Legolas snapped.

"I want to see, too!" Gimli added. Legolas dangled the paper high above Gimli's head, and the dwarf jumped, scrambling to get it.

"Please don't fight," Aragorn said, feeling almost as pathetic as Frodo. "Can I have it back?"

"NO!" Legolas squealed, and then turned to run away.

"And he bravely ran away…" Boromir said, melodramatically.

"Where are you going?" Aragorn called, running after the elf.

"To Gondor!"

"Ooh, I want to come! I LOVE Gondor!" Boromir shouted excitedly.

* * *

><p><em>Later, in Rivendell.<em>

Elrond handed Arwen an envelope. "You have a reply, it would seem."

Arwen took it excitedly and opened it, only to find… confetti? No, there was a note, too.

_Dear Arwen. You are looking very pretty today. My friends suck and ripped your last letter before I could read it… I enclosed it for proof... so could you please resend it? Love, Aragorn. _

And below it, in other hands, the rest of the Fellowship had signed. Beside their name, Aragorn had written captions.

_And Legolas (whose hair is atrocious!) _

_and Merry (who is hungry) _

_and Pippin (who is hungrier) _

_and Gimli (who wants to bang your grandmother, eew) _

_and Sam (who found a flower today)_

_and Frodo (who accidentally ate the flower in his salad)_

_and Boromir (who really really really fucking loves Gondor)_


End file.
